I’ve been really open with my current struggle about ‘no more babies’. My battle between feeling incredible selfish that ‘wait Em, you already have two beautiful children think of how lucky you are’ vs the notion that there would be more babies. Dealing with the mourning period of no more babies; but more than that; dealing with fact that this decision has been made for me. That it is actually out of my control.
I’ve made a real breakthrough these past few weeks. Now instead of breaking down into a blubbering mess everytime I see a newborn babe in public, (don’t get me wrong I still feel like my ovaries are exploding) but I’m smiling instead of crying. This is good for many reasons, mostly just that now I don’t look like a crazy lady crying in public for no apparent reason. It means I am healing.
Also instead of grieving the fact that Isla is growing up so fast; (let’s be honest she is really a toddler now, not a baby) I’m learning to be really mindful of our time together. I’m rejoicing in watching her learn new words & start becoming independent. Enjoying every last moment of breastfeeding, in case it is the last feed. It’s so beautiful to be present in this moment of motherhood. There are still days when I do feel like everything is on top of me and I have no idea what I am doing; but I’m truly trying & enjoying mindful motherhood.
Today we had our Friday morning mama + daughter coffee date; it was bliss.
Isla, I watched you walk all by yourself to the coffee shop. So proud, not wanting any help or to hold my hand. My heart is filled with pure love knowing that even though you won’t always need me; I’ll always be here, by your side waiting to hold your hand if you ever need.
My darling Isla you are growing everyday into the most beautiful little girl, but don’t forget my sweetheart you’ll always be my baby girl; even when your running the world.
Sometimes it is easy to forgot all the little ‘dates’ I had with Oliver when it was just me and him. Twenty months of just us dates. Park dates. Yoga dates. Pilates dates. Mumfit dates. Swimming dates? Oh and my favourite – Coffee dates. It’s easy to forget the ease at which popping out was with just one. I mean I think I could do it with my eyes closed now.
The transition from one to two in some senses really isn’t any more challenging, it’s just double and everything just takes longer. [In other senses it is definetly way more challenging]. Especially getting ready in the morning. Breakfast, getting dressed, packing lunches and then getting in the car! When we are all in the car, seat belts on I sometimes imagine the sound affect of a filled theatre applauding me. I mean it is an achievement! Right?
One of the greatest challenges I have faced in becoming a mother of two beautiful children is having that quality one on one time with them. I feel sad sometimes that I don’t get that time just me and Isla. Then also since having Isla I often have to say to Oliver, ‘Wait please Ollie, mummy is feeding Isla,’ or ‘Just wait a minute I’m changing Isla’s nappy.’ Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he started saying to me ‘wait please mummy.’ And then sometimes if I am taking Ollie out of his highchair or playing with him in his mini pool and Isla starts crying she has to wait. There is a lot of waiting going on here ATM!
I have been making more of an effort to spend one on one time with both Oliver and Isla. Making the most of those times when they play sleep tag. Sometimes we’ve gone on a little coffee date or gone on adventures around the house. Sometimes it is only a quick five minutes but I have really noticed a difference in the quality of our connection and in lowering my own ‘mum guilt levels.’
A few of my favourite snaps from these last few weeks. Backpacking around the house with bee and torch. Coffee dates while Isla slept looking for trucks and smelling flowers. And then some just mama and Isla time eating delicious food and making everyone in New Farm smile.
Anyone have any tips on spending quality time with your darlings?
Pumpkin Muffins are inspired by Emma Galloway from @mydarlinglemonthye.
These seriously easy and ‘nom nom’ pumpkin muffins were devoured by my toddler this morning. He couldn’t keep his paws off them! Neither could his tiger, giraffe, elephant and horse who were spotted eating the crumbs post tea party. [I couldn’t make that up if I tried].
The original recipe is for six but I doubled the recipe because in my book as there is no point in cooking if there are no left overs. I also subsisted the brown rice, quinoa & almond flours for a combination of whole meal and white self-raising flour. This was purely out of convenience as there was no way I was going to the shops with a sick babe this morning.
Seriously Easy Pumpkin Muffins
Begin by preheating your oven to 180 degrees celsius (350F).
200g of roasted pumpkin (I just used last nights left overs; skin and all), 1 grated orange zest, 2 large eggs, 90ml olive oil, 160ml coconut milk, 1 teaspoon vanilla powder, 250grams self-raising flour [3 parts whole meal + 1 part white] & 80grams rapadura sugar.
Puree the pumpkin and then mix in all the wet ingredients; orange zest, eggs, olive oil & coconut milk. Add in the rapadura sugar and vanilla to the wet mix and beat well. Then gently fold in the flour. Ladle the batter into a 12 hole muffin tin lined with papers and bake for about 20 minutes until cooked.
Seriously couldn’t get any simpler if you tried.
These are perfect for baby lead weaning and toddlers as the outside is a bit crispy but the inside of these muffins is melt in your mouth and super soft. I had mine with a coffee. Albeit cold coffee.