On healing my “whole” self…

On healing my “whole” self…

Over the last few years I’ve been working really on healing myself. Not my whole self (my kidney failure isn’t reversible); but my “whole” self. ⁣⁣

I started by increasing my therapy sessions. I spent time before I started dialysis doing lots of mental preparations. Learning how I could manage dialysis when the time came, the unknown of it all, the transplant, death… the works! I also started learning about mindfulness & treating myself with kindness.⁣ Hand on my heart kindness. ⁣⁣

Then slowly I started being mindful with what I ate & started increasing my exercise. Growing up I associated exercise with either winning (highly competitive) or as a punishment to lose weight! I felt like I needed to be “skinny” to be liked. Now I exercise because I can. Because it is a privilege to exercise. I exercise because I want to be strong. I don’t care about “skinny” I just want strength! I want to be able to pick up my children without hurting my back & play in the back yard without running out of breath. You know the everyday things we take for granted when we are healthy. I also know what it is like to be laying in a hospital bed feeling like I was drowning in my own fluid & unable to breathe. That why when my alarm goes off in the morning & I’m physically able to get out of bed, you better believe I go work out! ⁣⁣

I’m so proud of what I’ve achieved because I never imagined I could do it! I thought that I needed to wait until I had my transplant to feel strong. I’ve exceeded my own expectations & I’m stronger than I ever thought I would be. Ready to slay the day 🙏🏻 Emmy Xx

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