I adore this photo of Isla breastfeeding.
To me it is precious. A moment in time captured that I will always remember.
When the human body works isn’t it amazing?
It is heartbreaking and emotionally something I am not ready to deal with knowing that in the past few weeks Isla hasn’t put on any weight. In fact she has lost weight. It smashes me to my very core knowing that perhaps my milk supply has dropped. That maybe she hasn’t been getting enough milk that maybe she is failing to thrive. [Insert saddest emoji face ever].
Whatever happens I know it will be okay. Isla’s health and growth is most important; rationally I know it doesn’t matter if she has breast-milk or formula. Milk is milk. However emotionally I can not process this concept. The thought of having to stop breast feeding Isla…ah it gets me right in the gut. Gosh it is more than mum guilt. It is gut wrenching. Heartbreaking. Curl up in a ball, sit in a corner rocking side to side, emotionally hardcore.
For now I am just going to enjoy every breastfeed, have skin-to-skin and snuggle my beautiful little babe Isla.
Aside – I know that everybody is different and individual this is just my journey.
Always with love